“To really get a sense of how a narcissist percieves you, you will need to picture a tool. Let’s say a hammer, the hammer has no will of its own. The hammer’s value is in how it serves you. When you pick up the hammer it is like an extension of your hand. We are unable to use it without regard for how it must feel to whack a nail with it. Of course, because it has no feelings, we don’t have to think about the hammer, we simply use it to our own ends and then set it down and walk away when it has performed the function we wanted it for.
You are that hammer to the narcissist. All of us are merely tools made for their use. Extensions of themselves, we are like a table, or chair, or bookcase, or toilet paper.
The narcissist will become enraged if such inanimate tools decide to sprout a mind of their own and not perform and conform perfectly to their will. It is perceived as an attack! The default setting in the mind of the narcissist toward the rest of humanity is that we are not worth anything except as they imbue value in us. Then we are worth something. But only as much as the narcissist decides. We can be completely devalued in a moment and thrown out with the rest of the garbage.
Is it any wonder you have spent so much time feeling devalued? Have you found yourself wondering if you even have the right to exist? The narcissist has been treating you like a tool, and on some level, you know it.”
-Anna Valerious
Mama Bear Blended Family Support 