“Drained and Defeated”

Mz. K:

“Hello! I follow you here on IG and I was hoping that you could give me advice and or guidance. My ex Narc and I just had court on Friday to get consent on therapy for our daughter. She’s 8. I just emailed him per my attorneys request asking him to make arrangements this week to fill out the consent forms. I feel so drained and defeated when I get replies back from him. Once I read his response I feel stuck like, why do you have to have some type of come back. Why not just comply so we can move forward? I guess I’m typing all of this to ask, what do I do? What do I say? I remove all of my feelings and emotions and try to keep it strictly on facts for our daughter. I’ve found a counselor, now he’s saying that he would rather she been seen by a new counselor. I’m like dude, you aren’t going to control this also. Please give me advice. Also, I mentioned that I have an attorney. Although I know that no one works for free, but how do I move forward without having this custody modification drain me financially? My attorney is charging me another $300 to send a letter. I know Narcissistic like to prolong court, but I don’t have the funds. Especially when there is NOTHING that says or shows that I’m unfit or unable to provide a healthy, loving and stable environment for our daughter.”

Mama Bear Blended Family Support:

“Anonymous Post up for community support! 💕 I’m here for you! Make sure to take time for you and mentally separate yourself from thoughts regarding him as often as possible.”

“What you need to do is find a therapist of your own. They can deem you fit and stable, they can also submit that to your attorney and have it seen by the judge. Document absolutely everything. Like everything. Discuss everything through email. Present it all to the court as evidence of his inability to coparent. Take your daughter to the counselor on your time. That will show the court that you are trying and succeeding at getting this done. Deal with him minimally, but update him on what you’ve done and are going to do. Take the upper hand. Refuse to let his side comments get to you love 💕 He’s just being an asshole because he knows it gets to you. I want you to know, your situation is a lot like ours, and so many others’. Cut him off mentally. Outright tell him that “we need to work together can we just stick to straight business about our daughter?”. As far as attorneys go, we owe 4k to ours and he is no longer representing us because we have been victims of financial abuse and the dragging out of all appointments and court hearings. You can represent yourself if it comes to it. Do not let it destroy you. Representing yourself is possible and it also shows dedication to the cause and your sincerity to the judge. Don’t let him financially abuse you to the point you have nothing left.”

Please feel free to comment with advice and support! We’d love to keep the conversation going! Let’s build a community! Hit the follow button and share your experiences!

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